Post by Charity on May 6, 2004 23:16:10 GMT -5
Remember that chart of periodic table of elements? Hold that vision and consider these latest additions: (but take it all in good fun) 
Elemant Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: Don't even go there
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical Properties: Very Active. Highly Unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None Known. Possibly good methane source. . . good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposses and smells.
Elemant Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: Don't even go there
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical Properties: Very Active. Highly Unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None Known. Possibly good methane source. . . good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposses and smells.