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Post by Charity on Nov 30, 2006 17:06:29 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 2, 2006 10:00:44 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 2, 2006 10:03:51 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 2, 2006 14:56:49 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 2, 2006 15:04:07 GMT -5
The Book of Jeremiah Chapter 10
1 Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel: 2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. 3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. 4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. 5 They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good. 6 Forasmuch as there is none like unto thee, O LORD; thou art great, and thy name is great in might.
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Post by Charity on Dec 4, 2006 9:26:07 GMT -5
Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a "Holiday". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton! At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter. And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace. The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded The reason for the season, stopped before it started. So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree" Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me. Choose your words carefully, choose what you say Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!
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Post by Charity on Dec 6, 2006 11:13:06 GMT -5
Bubba Claus,
A Note from: Santa Claus
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.
Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.
And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus
(Though IMHO, Florida is not really a southern state)
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Post by Charity on Dec 7, 2006 11:19:41 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 7, 2006 11:20:11 GMT -5
CHRISTMAS PARTY INVITATION You are cordially invited to A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!! Guest of Honor: Jesus Christ Date: Every day. Traditionally, December 25 but He's always around, so the date is flexible.... Time: Whenever you're ready. (Please don't be late, though, or you'll miss out on all the fun!) Place: In your heart.... He'll meet you there. (You'll hear Him knock.) Attire: Come as you are... grubbies are okay. He'll be washing our clothes anyway. He said something about new white robes and crowns for everyone who LOVES HIM. Tickets: Admission is free. He's already paid for everyone... (He says you wouldn't have been able to afford it anyway... it cost Him everything He had. But you do need to accept the ticket!! Refreshments: New wine, bread, and a REFRESHING drink He calls "Living Water," followed by a supper that promises to be out of this world! Gift Suggestions: ; Your life. He's one of those people who already has everything else. (He's very generous in return though. Just wait until you see what He has for you!) Entertainment: Joy, Peace, Truth, Light, Life, Love, Real Happiness, Communion with God, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Power, Eternity in Paradise, Contentment, and much more! (All "G" rated, so bring your family and friends.) R.S.V.P. Very Important! He must know ahead so He can reserve a spot for you at the table. Also, He's keeping a list of His friends for future reference. He calls it the "Lamb's Book of Life." Hope to see you there!
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Post by Charity on Dec 8, 2006 10:44:30 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 8, 2006 14:07:46 GMT -5
Fun with the ACLU Wanna have some fun this CHRISTMAS? Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD! As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN, card to brighten up their dark, sad, little world.
Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it.
Here's the Address, just don't be rude or crude. (It's Not the Christian Way ya know?)
ACLU 125 Broad Street 18th Floor New York, NY 10004
Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions.. So spend 37 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone. Also tell them that there is no such thing as a Holiday Tree. . . . It's a Christmas Tree even in the fields!!
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Post by Charity on Dec 8, 2006 20:19:01 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 10, 2006 13:51:27 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 10, 2006 13:53:55 GMT -5
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Post by Charity on Dec 11, 2006 5:55:26 GMT -5
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